LIFE TOGETHER Parents and Children: We are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ

. . . submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. EPH 5:21

John Gill

Submitting to one another—Which may be understood either in a political sense, of giving honour, obedience, and tribute, to civil magistrates, since they are set up by God for the good of men, and it is for the credit of religion for the saints to submit to them; or in an economical sense; thus the wife should be subject to the husband, children to their parents, and servants to their masters, which several things are afterwards insisted on, as explanative of this rule; or in an ecclesiastic sense, so the Ethiopic version renders it, “subject yourselves to your brethren”: thus members of churches should be subject to their pastors, not in the same sense as they are to Christ, the head, nor are they obliged to believe or do everything they say, right or wrong; yet honour and esteem are due to them, and submission and obedience should be yielded to their doctrines, precepts, and exhortations, when they are agreeably to the word of God; since God has set them in the highest place in the church, called them to the highest service, and most honourable work, and bestowed on them the greatest gifts; the younger members should also submit to the elder, and the minority to the majority; one member should submit to another, to the superior judgment of another, and to the weakness of another, and to the admonitions of others, and so as to perform all offices of love: and the manner in which this duty is to be performed, is

Out of reverence for Christ—Which may be considered as the moving cause of submission, or, as the rule of it; submission should be on account of reverence for Christ, and so far as is consistent with it; and indeed, reverence for Christ is that which should influence and engage to every duty; and which should be before our eyes, and in exercise in our hearts, in all concerns, civil and religious: the Alexandrian copy and some others, the Complutensian edition, and the Vulgate Latin and Ethiopic versions read, “in the fear of Christ”; who is the head of the church, and King of saints, and as such to be feared and reverenced; and for his sake there should be a submission to one another; the Syriac version reads, out of love for Christ, which should force the saints to this duty.

My son, fear the Lord and the king,

and do not join with those who do otherwise, PRO 24:21

Rashi

My son, fear the Lord and the king—Fear the Lord and fear the mortal king, but only if he does not turn you away from the fear of the Lord, for the fear of the Lord is always first.

Do not join with those who do otherwise—Heb. שונים, who say that there are two powers governing the world.

The apostle Paul charged the Ephesian church to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18) by worshiping and giving thanks to God as well as by submitting to one another.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit . . . EPH 5:18

4 Because your steadfast love is better than life,

my lips will praise you.

5 So I will bless you as long as I live;

in your name I will lift up my hands.

Rashi

So I will bless you as long as I live—Heb. כן, like אָז, then, because אָז is translated ובכן. That is to say: So, when I come before you, I will bless you all the days of my life.

In your name I will lift up my hands to pray and laud.

6 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, PSA 63:4-6

Berakhot 16b:17

The Gemara cites an aggadic statement concerning prayer and the recitation of Shema. Rabbi Elazar said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “So I will bless you as I live, to your name I will raise my hands” (Psa 63:5)? So I will bless you as I live, refers to the recitation of Shema, and to your name I will raise my hands, refers to the Amida prayer, which is characterized as lifting one’s hands to God. And if one does so, recites Shema and prays, the verse says about him: “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food” (Psa 63:6). And not only does he receive this reward, but he inherits two worlds, this world and the World-to-Come, as it is stated: “My mouth will praise you with lips of joys” (Psa 63:6). The plural, joys, refers to two joys, that of this world and that of the World-to-Come.

Draw me after you; let us run.

The king has brought me into his chambers.

We will exult and rejoice in you;

we will extol your love more than wine;

rightly do they love you. SON 1:4

Rashi

Draw me after you; let us run—I heard from your messengers a hint that you said to draw me, and I said, “Let us run after you,” to be as a wife to you.

The king has brought me into his chambers—And even today, I still have joy and happiness that I cleaved to you.

We will extol your love—Even today, in living widowhood, I extol your first love more than any banquet of pleasure and joy.

Rightly do they love you—A strong love, a straightforward love, without deceit or intrigue, (in accordance with the expression of the verse, “the uneven ground shall become level, and the rugged places a valley” Isa 40:4.) that my ancestors and I loved you in those days. This is its simple meaning according to its context. According to its allegorical meaning: They mention before him the loving kindness of their youth, the love of their nuptials, their following him in the wilderness, a land of drought and darkness, and they did not even prepare provisions for themselves, but they believed in him and in his messenger. And they did not say, “How will we go into the wilderness, which is not a land of seed or food?” But they followed him, and he brought them into the midst of the chambers of the envelopment of his clouds. With this, they are still joyful today and happy with him despite their afflictions and distress; and they delight in the law, and there they recall his love more than wine, and the sincerity of their love for him.

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! LUK 11:13

The Holy Spirit empowers us to live humbly, in a way that reveres Christ. Why do you think Paul taught about mutual submission before going into specific relationships, like marriage and family? What do you think Eph 5:21 would look like in a home and what could its effects be?

He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive . . . 1TI 3:4

John Gill

He must manage his own household well—His family, wife, children, and servants; and is not to be understood of his body, and of keeping of that under, and of preserving it chaste and temperate, as appears from what follows:

With all dignity keeping his children submissive—Keeping a good decorum in his family; obliging his children to observe his orders, and especially the rules of God’s word; and not as Eli, who did not use his authority, or lay his commands upon his sons, nor restrain them from evil, or severely reprove them for their sins, but neglected them, and was too mild and gentle with them; 1Sa 2:23; 3:13 but like Abraham, who not only taught, but commanded his children and his household, to keep the way of the Lord (Gen 18:19); and so should those act who are in such an office as is here treated of; and should not only rule well in their families, preside over them, go before them, and set an example to them, and keep their children in obedience and subjection; but this should be “with all dignity”: not only in the master of the family, but in the children; who as their father is, or should be, should be brought up in, and used to dignity in words and in dress; and in the whole of their deportment and conversation. This may he observed against the Papists, who forbid marriage to the ministers of the gospel.

For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him. GEN 18:19

Rashi

For I have chosen him—An expression denoting “affection,” as (Rth 2:1) “a relative (מוֹדַע) of her husband’s,” and (Rth 3:2) “Boaz our relative (מֹדַעְתָּנוּ),” and (Exo 33:17) “and I shall know you (וָאֵדָעֲךָ) by name.” Still the primary meaning of these terms is none other than an expression of knowing, for whoever holds a person in affection attaches him to himself, so that he knows him and is familiar with him. And why do I hold him dear?

That he may command—For he may command his children concerning me, to keep my ways. If, however, you explain it as the Targum, “I know about him that he will command his children etc.,” the word לְמַעַן does not fit into the sense.

That he may command—This form of the verb (the imperfect) expresses frequentative action, as (Job 1:5) “Thus Job did (יַעֲשֶׂה).”

So that the Lord may bring—Thus will he ever command his children saying “Keep the way of the Lord so that the Lord may bring to Abraham etc.” Since it does not say here “to the house of Abraham,” but to Abraham himself, we may infer that he who trains up a righteous son is as though he never dies (Bereishit Rabbah 49:4).

Yevamot 79a:3

David said: There are three distinguishing marks of this nation, the Jewish people. They are merciful, they are shamefaced, and they perform acts of kindness.
They are merciful, as it is written: “And give you mercy and have mercy on you and multiply you” (Deu 13:18); not only will God have mercy on you, but he will bestow the attribute of mercy on you.

They are shamefaced, as it is written: “That the fear of him shall be before you” (Exo 20:17), and the fear that is on one’s face is his shame.

They perform acts of kindness, as it is written: “For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord, to practice righteousness and justice” (Gen 18:19), i.e., to perform acts of kindness.

Whoever has these three distinguishing marks is fit to cleave to this nation. Those who lack these qualities, however, are unfit to be part of the Jewish people. When David saw the cruelty of the Gibeonites, he decreed that they may never enter into the congregation of Israel.

Yoma 38b:10

Rabbi Elazar said: From the blessing of the righteous you infer a curse for the wicked; and conversely, from the curse of the wicked you infer a blessing for the righteous. How so? From the blessing of the righteous you infer a curse for the wicked, as it is written with regard to Abraham: “For I have chosen him, that he will command his children and his household after him” (Gen 18:19), and it is written thereafter: “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is very great” (Gen 18:20). The righteousness of Abraham underscores the relative wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah, exacerbating their punishment.